


I asked a bot

by Deadling



Category: Dead Things Series - Martina McAtee
Genre: bot stories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-11-29 02:17:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18216863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deadling/pseuds/Deadling
Summary: I forced a bot to read over a 1,000 pages of the dead things series and asked them to create a chapter of dialogue. This is their first attempt.





	I asked a bot

**Author's Note:**

> I love fanfiction. I'm unstoppable.

The Pack stands in the living room doing what could be considered small talk.

Donovan: *with sadness* we are out of black nail polish. I will not be able to wear my sleeveless sweatshirts

Neoma: *with visible distress* oh no. Cryptic. 

Neoma flies to ceiling unexpectedly

Chester, with his cat paws, coaxes Neoma down to the floor 

Mace: *pouts*

Ember: *notices emotions* Mace, What is on your face?

Mace: my wings are not as pretty as Neomas

Quinn: *nods agreeably* it’s true. I read a dream journal on it.

Kai: *snorts and plays with a car on the floor* but so you have knowledge of movie directors? 

Quinn: *looks down with obvious defeat* no

Kai: *nodding with superiority* failure

Quinn: I must remove myself to think of myself as adequate 

Rhys: *with brooding eyebrows* understandable 

Kai: *noticing Rhys presence, he smiles* you smell like rain

Tristin: get a room

Kai: *with sadness* I will be thinking about my inability to get a room for long into the night

Ember: why

Kai: *pouting* I’m only five

Mace: he does look five

Kai: it’s my eyes

Ember: they are quite purply 

Tristin: stop with your agreeing fest. It annoys me.

Donovan: what doesn’t annoy you

Tristin: *mutters* Quinn

Ember: *gasp* she said Quinn

Mace: who is Quinn, I only know human

Ember: oh, sorry. *gasp* she said human 

Kai: you’re going to need to learn our names 

Mace: inaccurate.

Kai: that is a fair point. 

Mace: i know

Donovan: why does the sluagh not know our names?

Kai: slooah 

Quinn: stop it, you inadequate fool

Kai: I refuse

Ember: we focus! The sluagh, mace, doesn’t know our names

Donovan: yes but why

Ember: we are not worthy

Mace: I am not worthy

Quinn: you are sending mixed signals. Who is worthy?

Mace: I can’t learn your names. Because they aren’t important enough. But I also feel like dirt sometimes.

Quinn: ah, cognitive dissonance 

Isa enters the room. She is very alpha-y

Isa: What are you doing

Mace: pointing out our flaws

Isa: What productive thing are you doing

Neoma: comparing sizes

Rhys: Neoma no

Neoma: neoma Yes

Isa: you have five seconds to explain before I throw you in the sun

They are afraid. The sun is formidable.

Ember: wing sizes

Isa: that makes logical sense

Mace: *sad* it makes me sad

Ember hugs Mace.

Ember: I will feel happy for you

Mace: my companion has seized me

Ember: but you love the companion right

Mace: i know of no companion

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry.


End file.
